1) There are (at least) 2 kinds of being brave. One is an illusion in which we tell ourselves a version of events that we would like to be true. The other is the real deal. It involves facing our …

What I Learned -or Remembered- when I Read Brave Read more »

–by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD The teacher and I exchanged knowing looks as a kindergartener flung herself across the table, scattering crayons and paper in every direction. We understood that intervening at this moment would only make it worse, although it …

Behavior: Conscious or Unconscious? Read more »

–by Laura Dennis, with much gratitude to Hilary Jacobs Hendel, to whom I owe both the title and content of this post This is not a book review Last month, I wrote a post previewing Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s new book, …

It’s Not Always Depression: An Emotional Education Read more »

–by Laura Dennis I don’t know about you, but parenting a child who has suffered trauma and been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder can bring out a side of me no one should ever see. I’ve yelled far more than …

Maybe It Isn’t Depression? Read more »

  –by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD It was inexplicable. I was a twenty-seven-year-old wife and mother of an infant, and I had just left the family gathering and thrown myself on the floor kicking and screaming. My husband was standing over me with …

Throwing Myself on the Floor Read more »

–by Laura Dennis It’s not the lying. It’s not the cursing. It’s not the stealing. It’s not even the violence and aggression. It’s the shame. That’s what I hate most about Reactive Attachment Disorder. Let’s start with my shame. I …

The Hardest Thing Read more »

–by Hilary Jacobs Hendel Originally published March 10, 2015 How can it be that a seemingly depressed person, one who shows clinical symptoms, doesn’t respond to antidepressants or psychotherapy? Perhaps because the root of his anguish is something else. Several …

It’s Not Always Depression. Sometimes It’s Shame. Read more »

–by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD I sat on the floor next to her. I understood her fear of abandonment, the trauma she had experienced, and how her mother had been unable to provide any form of comfort. I watched her body …

Trauma without Healthy Attachment: How a Child Feels Read more »

–by Janyne A. McConnaughey, Ph.D. originally published June 21, 2017 on Janyne’s blog I stood in the doorway. I was very small, maybe two. I was sucking on my two middle fingers and watching my mother in the kitchen. I was …

Neediness: An Unintended Consequence of Shame Read more »

–By Hilary Jacobs Hendel Manager’s note: The ATN blog is pleased to announce the addition of therapist and author Hilary Jacobs Hendel to our lineup of regular contributors. Although not as adoption- or attachment-focused as some of our other bloggers, …

What ‘Mad Men’ and Don Draper Taught Us About Trauma and Shame Read more »