Blog Archives

Shame: One Mom’s Thoughts

In the world of therapeutic parenting and developmental trauma, we hear a lot about shame. Professionals write lots of great articles about it. This is my perspective as a mom.

When I first read about shame in our kids, I was pretty positive that my often narcissistic son could not have that issue.

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Who Do You Trust the Most?

During a session with your therapist, she hands you a paper with three concentric circles drawn on it. They represent relative levels of trust in relationships. The central circle is who you trust the most. She asks you who you would put in that spot. You don’t answer. She pushes. You remain silent. Finally, she suggests your parents. You nod. You know that she needs you to nod.

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Triggered by the Holidays?

From the blog manager

Many of us raising children affected by early trauma and attachment disorders know holiday stress all too well. Even the most well-meaning relatives can inflict additional pain, sometimes because they simply do not understand, other times because they cannot help but judge. Our decisions, our families,

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ACEs and Toxic Stress: How We Can Heal Children’s Brains

As a trauma and emotion-centered psychotherapist, I am relieved that children are now being screened for toxic stress. Thinking about mental health as a byproduct of a child’s environment is an important addition to current thinking on how to improve children’s wellbeing. Rushing to diagnose a child with a potentially stigmatizing label,

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What I Learned -or Remembered- when I Read Brave

photo of Brave book cover1) There are (at least) 2 kinds of being brave. One is an illusion in which we tell ourselves a version of events that we would like to be true. The other is the real deal. It involves facing our fears head on and living to tell the tale.

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Lost at the Beauty Shop – A Story

–by Anna Gosman, guest contributor
All Karen had said was, “Walk around the corner and grab your iPad from the beauty shop. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Her daughter had forgotten her iPad, and Karen figured the thirteen-year-old could run back to the shop to get it.

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Dear Educator

My kids have been blessed with many amazing teachers. I have many friends and family in education. They put in many hours and pursue continuing education to become better. Most deal with students from a wide variety of backgrounds with varying abilities, skills, weaknesses, and experiences. It is difficult to learn about every special need, disability, trigger, culture or background that might impact the students you work with. I totally get that. I, like many of my friends, have a kid who has suffered early trauma, and I try to let my kid’s educators know. Here are a few things about popular school activities that, as a parent of one of these very special kids, I would like for you to know.

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The Problem With Yelling

–by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, originally published on the author’s blog, September 14, 2017
“The problem with verbal abuse is there is no evidence,” Marta shared. She came for help with a long-standing depression.
“What do you mean lack of evidence?” I asked her.

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That Feeling

–by Lorraine Fuller
It’s a feeling special needs parents know all too well. My most recent experience happened on a cruise ship, on a vacation with extended family. One evening, I couldn’t sleep. My son had gone to a teen party and everyone else had gone to bed early or was off doing something else.

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The Feeling of Not Enough

 Manager’s note: another great post from therapist and writer Hilary Jacobs Hendel, originally published back in July. Many people carry the same wounds Mike has. Kids impacted by trauma carry them at least a thousand-fold.

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