Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

What happens once you know? What comes after “you don’t know what you don’t know,” anyway? Well, now, I think it’s “when you know better, you do better,” but that is now, not then. Back then, it took several steps. …

Focusing on Attachment: What Else I Didn’t Know Read more »

“You don’t know what you don’t know” In my parent group for those whose children think differently, a favorite phrase is “you don’t know what you don’t know.” This phrase has come to reassure me as I look back over …

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know Read more »

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Trying to do everything right I never imagined that two words, “attachment insecurity,” could have such a distressing and at the same time life-affirming effect on a person. My son already carried a diagnosis thought of as hard-to-parent. I felt …

Two Words: Attachment Insecurity Read more »

The story By now you may have read the headlines such as “YouTuber Myka Stauffer Reveals Adoption Dissolution 2 Years After Welcoming Son Home from China.” You may have even viewed the original adoptive parents’ tearful YouTube video about the …

Rehoming: Who’s to Blame? Read more »

“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” developmental psychologist Edward Tronick, Ph.D. asked in a 1989 paper called “Emotions and Emotional Communication in Infants.” The answer lies in large part …

Rupture and Repair: Emotions, Attunement, and Attachment Read more »

A story of hope Last week, I wrote about Janyne McConnaughey’s story. This week I want to focus on my own. I could probably write a book of my own on the many insights I gained, but for the purposes …

Jeannie’s Brave Childhood – There is Hope Read more »

Having read and thoroughly enjoyed ATN board member Janyne McConnaughey’s first book, Brave, A Personal Story of Healing Childhood Trauma, reviewed here in June 2018, I had looked forward to immersing myself in her second, Jeannie’s Brave Childhood: Behavior and …

Jeannie’s Brave Childhood – The Author’s Story Read more »

Humans are wired for connection and thrive in conditions of safety and security. When safety and security are compromised, we must do everything we can to restore a child’s felt sense of safety and security as fast as possible.

In the world of therapeutic parenting and developmental trauma, we hear a lot about shame. Professionals write lots of great articles about it. This is my perspective as a mom. When I first read about shame in our kids, I …

Shame: One Mom’s Thoughts Read more »

My son’s behavior has been improving. It’s really quite incredible when I think about the progress he has made in such a short amount of time. There has been no hitting. No biting. No long-lasting rages. Very little swearing. Still. When …

When My Son Cries for His Birth Mom Read more »