Focusing on Attachment: What Else I Didn’t Know

Focusing on Attachment: What Else I Didn’t Know

What happens once you know? What comes after “you don’t know what you don’t know,” anyway? Well, now, I think it’s “when you know better, you do better,” but that is now, not then. Back then, it took several steps. First, I had to grasp that I had more to figure out about my amazingly […]

Monty’s Day in Court

illustrated cover of courthouse with little boy. Title Monty's Day in Court

Helping children from hard places If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you are either parenting a child from a hard place or know such a child in some other way. Sadly, coming from a hard place can mean being the victim of a crime. It may even mean that the child has to […]

Child Abuse, Coronavirus, and Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Month Every May, advocacy organizations such as Mental Health America come together to raise awareness around needs related to mental health. These needs have increased during the coronavirus pandemic. Now that we have entered the month of June, we should reflect on the lessons learned during Mental Health Awareness Month so we […]

Jeannie’s Brave Childhood – The Author’s Story

Brave Book Cover - Jeannie's Brave Childhood

Having read and thoroughly enjoyed ATN board member Janyne McConnaughey’s first book, Brave, A Personal Story of Healing Childhood Trauma, reviewed here in June 2018, I had looked forward to immersing myself in her second, Jeannie’s Brave Childhood: Behavior and Healing Through the Lens of Attachment and Trauma. It was worth the wait. As a […]

Therapeutic Vacationing

family with Goofy on vacation at Disney world

Have extraordinary experiences For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Dena and I’m a parent of two children, now adults, through adoption. I originally started writing this whilst on vacation at Disney World in Florida last summer, but today I sit in my kitchen reflecting on our vacation and why it […]

When My Son Cries for His Birth Mom

Silhouette of a young boy

My son’s behavior has been improving. It’s really quite incredible when I think about the progress he has made in such a short amount of time. There has been no hitting. No biting. No long-lasting rages. Very little swearing. Still. When my adopted child cries for his birth mom, my heart breaks. He’s constantly agitated, like […]

5 Enlightened Ways to Think About Mental Health

drawing of a brain lifting a barbell and sweating

Mental health problems should be thought of no differently than physical health problems. In fact, they are related: mental health problems affect physical health and physical health problems affect mental health.

Who Do You Trust the Most?

little boy with blond hair in shorts and blue jacket sitting alone on bench holding stuffed animal

During a session with your therapist, she hands you a paper with three concentric circles drawn on it. They represent relative levels of trust in relationships. The central circle is who you trust the most. She asks you who you would put in that spot. You don’t answer. She pushes. You remain silent. Finally, she suggests your parents. You nod. You know that she needs you to nod.

Groundhog Day on Thanksgiving

groundhog standing up

The problem? Thanksgiving didn’t feel the same Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I have a relatively small family and since I wasn’t raised with religion, Thanksgiving was the main holiday where everyone all came together for a festive meal. This gave me a sense of family deep in my heart. I took it […]

A New Phase, Part II: Moving On

red dolly with cardboard boxes

Last week on the blog, I told you a little about what life was like with my son with complex early trauma. I talked about the lying, the stealing, the fear, the things we did to protect ourselves and him. And I told you that once he turned 18, he outright rejected what he’d always […]