Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

What I was going to write Tuesday afternoon, I had a whole thing I was going to write about childhood trauma in Miracle Creek by Angie Kim. At some point, I probably will go ahead and write that post. But …

“Guilty”: An Ending or a Beginning? Read more »

Helping children from hard places If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you are either parenting a child from a hard place or know such a child in some other way. Sadly, coming from a hard place can mean …

Monty’s Day in Court Read more »

The perils of self-care One recent sunny afternoon, on approximately the hundredth day of the coronavirus, I decided to take a nap. My youngest, 18, said he was going for a walk. I nodded drowsily and drifted off to sleep. …

Mothering in the Time of Coronavirus Read more »

“Why do some children become sad, withdrawn, insecure, or angry, whereas others become happy, curious, affectionate, and self-confident?” developmental psychologist Edward Tronick, Ph.D. asked in a 1989 paper called “Emotions and Emotional Communication in Infants.” The answer lies in large part …

Rupture and Repair: Emotions, Attunement, and Attachment Read more »

Gratitude. I feel it as I sit in front of a softly crackling fire, enjoying the fruity-rich notes of my first cup of coffee as I gaze out on a magnificent Puget Sound seascape. I look forward to another day …

Vacation, Back-to-School, and Gratitude Read more »

Humans are wired for connection and thrive in conditions of safety and security. When safety and security are compromised, we must do everything we can to restore a child’s felt sense of safety and security as fast as possible.

Mental health problems should be thought of no differently than physical health problems. In fact, they are related: mental health problems affect physical health and physical health problems affect mental health.

During a session with your therapist, she hands you a paper with three concentric circles drawn on it. They represent relative levels of trust in relationships. The central circle is who you trust the most. She asks you who you would put in that spot. You don’t answer. She pushes. You remain silent. Finally, she suggests your parents. You nod. You know that she needs you to nod.