Giving Ourselves and Others a Break

Giving Ourselves and Others a Break
Friendly neighborhood blog manager here. Life is doing that thing right now where it dumps a heap of overwhelm. Yet I want to preserve what's left of my sanity. And I want to continue the string of (hopefully!) helpful posts on the ATN blog. Therefore I am taking a couple weeks off to get my ducks back in a row. The ATN blog will be back in early November with a post from Lorraine Fuller about a new stage in her life, and a long overdue bo

Time to take a break.

Friendly neighborhood blog manager here. Life is doing that thing right now where it dumps a heap of overwhelm. Yet I want to preserve what’s left of my sanity. And I want to continue the string of (hopefully!) helpful posts on the ATN blog. Therefore I am taking a couple weeks off to get my ducks back in a row. The ATN blog will be back in early November with a post from Lorraine Fuller about a new stage in her life, and a long overdue book review from yours truly of Peter Lovernheim’s The Attachment Effect.

In the meantime, I don’t know about you, but I always need a little something to keep me going day to day, so here are three things that recently helped me. Maybe they will do the same for you.

  1. This quote:I’ve been having a lot of difficult conversations lately that I never really wanted to have. It has helped. I hope that my child with trauma will someday realize he too can decide “which one he will be.”
  2. This blog post, “Look Through the Eyes of Wisdom,” that a friend posted on social media in response to the above. It is a short but powerful piece. I am glad for it – it helped keep me centered in the midst of some of these conversations.
  3. Laurie McClean’s post, “Special Needs Parent Depression.” It reminds me that even with all the friends and support in the world, sometimes we aren’t okay. Which is in itself okay. Parenting traumatized kids is hard. Remember–you are not alone.

It is already October 16. That’s just two weeks without us. In the meantime, I would encourage you to go back through the blog. There’s a lot of really good stuff there. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need someone to remind me of the good.

I am a solo mother of three, all adopted as older children from India, all of whom have been affected by early childhood trauma, particularly my youngest, who was diagnosed at age six with RAD, ADHD, and ODD. We had struggled along as best we could for more than two years before that, whereupon I started learning all I could about trauma and attachment. It has changed our lives for the better. Not only has it set my son on a path that could –maybe– lead to eventual healing, it taught me the type of help my eldest would need as she dealt with her own past en route to young adulthood. Perhaps best of all, it led me to ATN, who not only helped our family, but also gave me the chance to pay it forward by helping families like ours find the support they need. In my “real” job, I am a World Languages professor and department chair at a private liberal arts college in the Appalachian mountains. I have found a way to merge my passions by researching the depiction of intercountry adoption in world literature and film and guest-lecturing for education classes about diversity, inclusion, and trauma-informed instruction. In what passes for my free time, I enjoy long walks, reading, writing, playing piano, and caring for our dog and cats.

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