Confession time–I have to take a break (gasp!)
I cannot do it all.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve admitted the impossible.
Now that I’ve done that, let’s see what else I can say.
I am not superwoman.
Turns out I have flaws.
Plus I get sick.
In other words, I am vulnerable. I will have to take a break.
Yet it is killing me to admit those things.
Remind you of anyone you know?
For me, it reminds me a little too much of my son, the one slowly but surely healing from attachment disorder. He hates needing people. He believes he can do it all on his own. I have found him sitting in the dark because he doesn’t want to ask someone to reach up and change a bulb. He has failed assignments because he cannot imagine asking his teachers for help. On his darkest days, he even believes that given the chance, he would have survived on his own in India. At two years old. Malnourished. With myriad untreated health problems.
“Wow. That’s insane,” you may be thinking. Yet if you’ve talked to a trauma survivor, or if you are one, you may know that attitude all too well.
I, unlike my kids, did not suffer early childhood trauma. Mine came much later, a both direct and indirect consequence of parenting a child with RAD. It’s been the fight of a lifetime to let myself heal, and even now, my body sometimes has to rise up and take me down. If I won’t rest–and I probably won’t–I have learned that my body will make me.
That is what’s happening now. My body has informed me that is time to go get some much-needed medical and spiritual care. Sadly, this means #TraumaTuesday will have to take a break as well. We’ll be back later this summer, though, stronger and better than ever.
Until then, please enjoy reading around old posts on the blog. There is a lot of wisdom here.