Where do I begin to write about my experience as a father raising children with a trauma history

Where to begin?

By:  Marc Deprey

Well, here it is, the moment I’ve been thinking about. How to start my contribution to ATN’s new blog? I could write about the experience of parenting two kids, eleven months apart with Developmental Trauma Disorder and the whole whack-a-mole nature of that day-to-day experience. I could write about the fact that I can only take time to write this when my kids are asleep and I’m exhausted, or the idea that being around them wears me down to the core (and that I can’t imagine I’ll have any core left sometime soon).

I could write about how we as parents are always trying to educate people about something that is so foreign to them—seemingly so out of their grasp. I could write about really good analogies that illustrate what we are facing—it’s like an emotional peanut allergy, or think of a new navy ship that gets spurned by the mother ship and the only button that can get pressed is the battle station alarm, the one about a kitty cat versus a lion, and so many others.

I could write about what our movement needs as far as advocacy, action, recognition (a class action lawsuit against insurance companies, against adoption agencies, against society’s ignorance.) Or I could write about a possible spiritual path through such a terrible cauldron of rejection, pain, and hopelessness. There’s the subject of being a Father in such a household, supporting Mom and the kids in their struggle to connect and also keeping a marriage strong and vital through such an awesome challenge.

I also could write about the light side of our predicament—the absurdity of hearing your kid deny what they just did in front of you, or the constant drama interrupted by bouts of confusion and chaos—kind of like a Six Flags 24/7 wristband. I could also talk about articles and essays I have written on this subject already—Drama of a Traumatized Child, A Letter from a Parent, The Lindorm, A Culture of Trauma, The Scope of Attachment Disorder or the films I’ve made about trauma and it’s effects (all these are available on my own blog marcdeprey.posterous.com)

So where to begin? Find out soon—



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