It’s more challenging than ever to care for children. Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, a child care professional, you know what I mean. You awaken with a heaviness from the world around us. The news reminds us that there is much unrest in our world, our country…and our neighborhood. The fear, anger and exhaustion you may be feeling is both understandable and is being transmitted to the children you care for.
Fear is the Thief of Focus…is the way one Twin Cities educator put it in a recent op ed piece in EdWeek. Exactly. No one can learn when their nervous system doesn’t feel safe. We also can’t reason, connect or access our thinking brain when flooded with fear. That is the whole point for us at the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN) and has been for the last 30 years. When trauma impacts a child’s developing nervous system, the child is unable to focus on connection (attachment) and learning. Children need to feel safe and that they matter to the adults in their world. And we must help them.
So, if you’re seeing Fear, the Thief in your classroom or home, there are some proactive things you can do:
- Regulate Yourself. It may sound strange to start with yourself – but it is crucial. Your wellness, your own nervous system is the most important tool you have to help the children in your care. Neuroscience shows us that our brains, in community, mirror each other. Children’s brains look to adults’ brains to sense safety and connection. That overwhelm and heaviness you’re feeling is being transmitted. This does not mean you should tamp down your feelings. Instead it means you need to find activities that help soothe your own nervous system and double down on practicing them. I’ve re-introduced crocheting into my evenings and now look forward to giving myself an hour or so every night to relax with the blanket I’m making while watching something light-hearted or listening to a podcast. Breathwork, taking a walk, exercise, coloring, laughing, journaling…there are so many ways to help your nervous system work through the stress and release it.
- Prioritize Connecting with Others. Humans are meant to be relational. Connecting with friends, neighbors, loved ones is necessary for our children; so it’s necessary for us. Chatting with a close friend, participating in events in your community, socializing are all things to put at the top of our “to do” list when our own stress levels are high. It’s important that we focus on what makes us feel valued and like we belong…on what makes us feel human. Encourage the children in your care and the families you impact to do the same. Help them find these opportunities to connect and share if you can.
- Seek & Share Resources. This includes books, websites, online groups. The more you understand how toxic stress & trauma impacts the nervous system, the better able you are to help yourself and the children in your care. ATN offers many valuable resources, including The Learning Brain Exchange, our newest online conference on Feb 16 & 17, 2026. This conference, with 40 workshops will explore the science of learning and focus on how to design an environment where all children can thrive. Check out our other events, our monthly free “Solution-Seeking Sessions” and the many articles and blogs on our website: www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org
- Gatekeep Your Own Consumption of News/Social Media. It’s important to stay current on what’s happening and to follow reliable sources of information. But when the news is shocking and grim, it’s equally important to control and limit your access to it. Doomscrolling induces the fear and hopelessness that can dysregulate you. You need your sleep and your ability to get regulated. You make better decisions and are more available for those in your life when you’re regulated. Practice what you are telling the teens and young people in your world to do. Model healthy consumption of the constant barrage of information coming toward us.
REMEMBER:You are so valuable to the children in your life. Your presence and your concern for them is irreplaceable. Now, more than ever, you’re making a real difference. Care for yourself the way you care for the children and all of you will be healthier with nervous systems that are more regulated and resilient.
